In looking back over my notes it seems like a lot of what connected with my during Fiorina's interview was the way she addressed issues of fear. One of the things I made note of was, "Many fears are stupid, but they are real." I don't recall if it was an actual quote or a summary of what I heard her saying but it has been kind of just sitting there for me the lasts few days.
I know that when you "grow up" and step into positions of leadership that the world things you have put away all your fears and the reality is that just isn't the case. Most of our fears just go underground and become what John Ortberg (reflecting on his address in a couple of days) named as our "shadow mission". The fears are what controls us because we won't allow ourselves to honestly address those fears. We are afraid that someone else might find out what those fears are and use them to our detriment or that if our fears become known they will make us look weak and ineffective. So we spend our time and energy avoiding any opportunity which just might make us face those fears.
Is there a way of being in leadership and being honest about our fears? What would it look like if the leaders around you could name their fears:
I'm afraid of being rejected- I'm afraid of being laughed at
- I'm afraid that when I'm gone no one will miss me
- I'm afraid that I really can't do the job
- I'm afraid of spiders
Whatever the fears that we bring to life it seems that the first step in dealing with them is to be able to name them. Maybe in naming our fears we realize just how stupid the fear is. Not that it takes away the reality of the fear but it at least is given a name and possibly we find that there are people around us who don't have those fears and are willing to step in and take care of the spiders in our lives without making us feel like we are any less important, successful, or capable because of that fear. Maybe over time we realize just how much we are missing out on because of our unwillingness to face those fears and we do the hard work of overcoming them. (Though I'm not sure what you might be missing out on by addressing your fear of spiders but I'm sure that it could be overwhelming and debilitating to some.)
I wonder if the fears in my life are holding me back from fully using the gifts, talents, and abilities that God has given me to use for God's glory? How about you?
2 comments:
Hi Sid, it's your Aunt Bernice. I've been enjoying your travelogue, Chris told me about the blog when they were here in July. But I also enjoy the comments about the LEAD conference. Isn't it great to find one that gives you so much to think about?
I used to have to go to Continuing Ed classes to keep my RN status active. Some of them were frankly awful, people making money from a captive audience with no substance and no real learning. But your quote ,
" "Many fears are stupid, but they are real." I don't recall if it was an actual quote or a summary of what I heard her saying but it has been kind of just sitting there for me the last few days."
was great and reminded me again of a line from one of those classes, "Everyone does the best they can with the information they have available at the time, their infomation may be different from yours, it may be faulty, or yours may be faulty, but they are doing the best they can with....."
That one line changed my life. I stop & think about why I or others do the stupid things we do or say, and I hope I'm more compassionate. SO, if we in the church are not enabling others to do more than we can do alone, to utilize the information they have, we have failed Jesus. I feel badly when I hear of a church or any organization who has the same SS superintendent,(or other job 'for 27 years and isn't that wonderful?'). Not because they didn't do a wonderful job, but I think of all the others whose "information" & leadership skills did not get a chance to develop in that position.
You don't have to post this, my html is a bit rusty, just wanted to toss my thoughts your way, and tell you to keep on learning. I'm off, early tomorrow am, to drive my semi annual trip to NY to babysit Kelly & Brian's 2 year old Cade. It will keep me busy, but he is such a laid back little guy, and so smart - of course - :) that it is fun. And yes, my sisters, and many of my friends say they would never do such a thing. But we made that trip many times over the years, and I did all the driving for several years when the Alzhiemer's made Wendyl's driving erratic. I stay on I 80, I 90, and then I 81 north in NY and am never afraid. Your Dad would agree, it's great "thnking time" I talk to meyself a lot along the way. And I always thank God for a good car, reasonably good highways - I never complain about construction delays, the roads are better because of them - (well, maybe a little, when I waited 2 hours in 90*+ to get through a toll booth in Chicago a few years ago..) Kelly and the girls at the flower shop where I work part time, call me on my cell phone often, and I pray, so I'm well taken care of. Sorry to ramble on so long, keep up the good work, I'm proud of you. Bernice bowo@lisco.com
Thanks Bernice!
Have a safe trip and wave as you go past Freemont (I-69) or call on your way back if you have time to stop. We have an extra bed that we would be glad to have you use.
Post a Comment