Psalm 39

"So tell me Lord, what can I expect?
My hope is in you."
Psalm 39:7

What a question to be asking on Christmas Eve!
It is the way of the world to want to know what the future holds. Yet when I look back upon my past there are many times that had I known what to expect I might very well have declined or tried to take a different path. In approaching the future we have a couple of choices that can be boiled down in one of two ways. We can either face the future with fear and trembling or with hope and anticipation. One way or another the future will come. As much as we might try we are unable to stop time and keep things from changing.
I would still like to know what the future holds but as long as I can trust that God is the one holding the future I know that I will be ok. So today as I'm getting ready to celebrate my last Christmas Eve at Saint Joseph before moving on to other things this next spring I stop to ponder and wonder about the future. What will come my way? How will my life be different? Where and how will God lead me into the next stage of my ministry? All of these are very real questions but for today I will simply hope in the one who comes into the world and makes all things new.

Psalm 38

"Lord, all that I long for is known to you,
my sighing is no secret from you;
my heart is throbbing, my strength deserting me,
the light of my eyes itself has left me."
Psalm 38: 9-10

When God strips away the fluff of life we are left with a choice: to either try to put a happy face on everything and ignore the pain or to face the realities of life and look for God in the midst of even pain.
One of the best things about my sabbatical time this past summer was the work that God did in stripping away the layers of life that allowed me to see why I do some of the things I do. The time helped me to identify some real needs that I should not ignore as well as some of the ways I have attempted to meet needs that I thought I had in my life. In the end as God showed me a more complete picture of my heart I found that my true desire was for God! Even as other things continue to be stripped away I find myself leaning more and more upon God's holy grace and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Psalm 37

"Trust in Yahweh and do what is good,
make your home in the land and live in peace;
make Yahweh your only joy
and he will give you what your heart desires."
Psalm 37: 2-4

People sometimes ask each other; "If you could have anything your heart desires, what would it be?" It is a good queswtion in many ways. I can think of many things over the years that I have desired: recognition, significance, love, pleasure, toys of one sort or another. But these are beginning to fade in most cases. They have less appeal and I'm not finding them as attractive as they once were.
I really do desire the joy of the Lord more and more these days. Is it the desire for that joy that is pushing all these other things aside? Or am I finding those other things not to be fulfilling and so turning elsewhere?
One way or another I find myself searching for God more and more and desireing to make my home with him.

Psalm 36

"Your love, Yahweh, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds;
your righteousness is like the mountains of God,
your judgments like the mighty deep."
Psalm 36:5-6

How does one comprehend and experience love? Scientists have tracked the physical responses people have to being loved and they have found that the body works better when the person has a deep sense of being loved by others. The person has a stronger immune system and a more positive outlook on life as well as many other measurable results.
But how does one know that they are loved by God? Are the same characteristics present? Is it something that can be physically felt? Is it something that you just have to experience but can't really explain to someone unless they have known it themselves? Is it even possible to comprehend that God, the creator of the universe, loves even an individual like me?
For me the times I feel loved by God the most is when I stand in places where I seem infinently small. In the midst of the mountains or the vast stretches of the plains of North America I look around at everything and I find myself in the midst of God's vast love. It doesn't make sense in a lot of ways and I'm not sure I can really explain it any better than that. But maybe the psalmist that I quoted above says it better than I can. Maybe God's love is just something that you have to let yourself fall into and not analyze any more than is necessary.

Psalm 35

"But shouts of joy and gladness for all
who take pleasure in my virtue;
give them constant cause to say,
'Great is Yahweh,
who likes to see his servant at peace!'"
Psalm 35:27

May my life be one which reflects God's glroy in such ways that others might say this about me!
If only my life might be lived in both the sorrow and the joy in ways that reflect God's presence in my midst then I will have been blessed. For I know the plans God has for me, to prosper and know the joy of the Lord. To live that life would be a life of great joy. To live a life of peace in the presence of God is my one desire. Everything else can fade away but if I can have contentment in each moment because I'm aware of living it with God then I above all people will be considered blessed and if I can share that invitiaion with others than God will be glorified even more!

Psalm 34

"Every face turned to him grows brighter
and is never ashamed."
Psalm 34:5

This phrase brings the story of Moses to mind. How his face was so bright with God's glory when he came down from the mountain after talking to God that the people were frieghtened. Oh how it mgiht have been different if instead of Moses covering his face he would instead have done everything possible to encourage others to join him and talk to God themselves.
Does my face shine with God's glory more than just with the reflection of my bald dead? Are people able to tell that I've spent time with God? Is my life an invitation to others to journey up the mountain to have their own encounter with the living God? Is there anything that I might be ashamed of because I have not faced God?
Is your face growing brighter from looking upon God?

Psalm 33

"By the word of Yahweh the heavens were made,
their whole array by the breath of his mouth;
he collects the ocean waters as though in a wineskin,
he stores the deeps in cellars."
Psalm 33:6-7

When I stop to watch the sunset or get up to see the sunrise I'm almost always amazed by the glory that is revealed within each and every one. This past summer there were moments that simply left me breathless as I watched the hands of God unfold beauty right before my eyes. Many of those times I was by myself and it was as if God was doing it just for me. When you are a witness to those moments of glory it is hard not to believe in a creating God who has not just created but continues to create.
Maybe one of the reasons why we have drifted so far away form God is because we have closed our eyes to the glory that is this world. We go to Disneyland for vacations, to museums, or great cities to be tempted by the pleasures of man rather than to sit in awe under the canopy of heaven and witness the unfolding glory of the word spoken into creation. Maybe it is time to remember again how small we are and how large this God is that has created the earth that we are able to live upon.

Psalm 32

"You are a hiding place for me,
you guard me when in trouble,
you surround me with songs of deliverance."
Psalm 32:7

There are some things that I've come to understand about life and about myself in the midst of this life. One of those things is that I have done a fairly good job of hiding myself from others and even myself over the years. I've been unwilling, unable, and unaware of the reasons why I am who I am or why I do the things I do. I don't know if I will ever be able to fully know and understand my own actions and motivations but I'm reassured that God knows. The thing is that I'm not alone in this either. There are very few people who I've ever met who are self-aware enough to understand their lives and what drives them.
Over the last six months as I've set aside more time to simply listen to God, life, and my inner self I've been amazed to discover the reasons for some of my predispositions. Seemingly random events have come to mind that when put together begin to show why I have lived my life in certain ways over the years. God has gently invited me to consider past hurts, passing encounters, and life changing events in a new light and invited me to embrace them not as things that have to control me but as events that God wants to use to shape me into the person I'm invited to become. In these times I have found new freedom to live in the present and not be controlled by the past. I'm not where God wants me to be yet but I pray that I'm getting closer.

Lord, in those places that are tender in my life yet may you guard them from others as you and I work them out together. May you continue to reveal to me those moments that have shaped me both to become like Christ as well as those that have shaped me to become more worldly. May I find your song of deliverance sung within me creating me in the ways you desire.

Psalm 31

"But I put my trust in you Yahweh,
I say, 'You are my God.'
My days are in your hand, rescue me
from the hands of my enemies and persecutors;
let your face smile on your servant,
save me in your love."
Psalm 31:14-16

Every day I put my life in your hands God. I try to start the day out remembering that I am God's. Now there are many times through-out the day that I take my life back and choose to treat it like my own rather than God's. My desire though is that I will remember each day whose I am, not just when things are rough or I'm in danger, but all the time.
I don't just want to be saved from trouble but rather saved into your loving embrace. I want to be known by you each and every moment Lord and I never want you to let me go. I want my desires to be what you desire for me. I want to trust you in all things so that your glory might reflect in me just as the clouds reflect the rising of the sun.

Psalm 30

"His anger lasts a moment, his favor a lifetime,
in the evening, a spell of tears,
in the morning, shouts of joy."
Psalm 30:5

Why is it so easy to focus upon the moments of anger and disappointment others have in us? Things that shouldn't be an issue but for one reason or another are brought by others and placed upon us. What is it about other people's anger that sticks with us and takes a hold of us in unhealthy ways?
If God's anger is for but a moment and then gone why do we give others so much power with their anger? Whey do we try to fix, appease, or placate others so that they will like us again? I'm sure that for most of us it has to do with the ways we were raised as children. We wanted to be accepted and feel that we were liked so we tried not to disappoint. We wanted to receive the blessing of our parents and others but it might have been withheld for one reason or another. So then we transfer those feelings toward God. We assume that because we let God down, we sinned against God's desires for us, that God is angry with us. We live our lives terrified that God is still angry with us for the things we did last month, last year, even for those things that we did 50 years ago.
Can we hear that God's anger is but a passing storm? Can we allow ourselves to step into God's favor and share God's joy? Can we let the joy of the Lord be our strength in all times rather than the emotions of others dictating our life? Can we let the favor of the Lord rest upon us even today?

Psalm 29

"The voice of Yahweh sharpens lightening shafts!"
Psalm 29:7

What an image! That God's voice even sharpens the lightning is a word picture that sticks in my mind having watched storms from a distance and found them absolutely fascinating in their power.
The power and sharpness of each bolt of lightening as it cuts across the sky or lights up the clouds is something that is totally unique in this world. I don't think there is anything that compares. Having watched several storms from a distance this summer I'm reminded of their power and their beauty as well. So now I want to remember this phrase so that every time I see a lightening storm I will hear God's voice in its midst. I want to remember that God's voice sharpens each and every bolt as it comes from the clouds. I want to remember that the same voice that sharpens the lightening also speaks with the gentle whisper of silence. I want to learn to listen for both voices that I might know the fullness of God!
I want to know that what ever storm I find myself in God can and will speak with clarity and power even when it isn't something that I want to hear.

Psalm 28

"I cry to you, Yahweh, my Rock!
Do not be deaf to me,
for if you are silent, I shall go
down to the Pit like the rest."
Psalm 28:1

There are times when we simply cry out to God, not necessarily to fix things, but just to know that God is there. Because no matter how much we don't like it each of us knows that life happens. Bad things come our way, sickness comes upon us, disappointment becomes real, and why should those who believe be any different than those who don't?
So we cry out to God! We look for the rock in the middle of the swirling water that is life that we can cling to in the midst of the storm. In the midst of the cry we want to know that God is there for otherwise we might as well simply drown in the midst of life's pain.
But God does hear our cry! It might be in the hand of a friend or even a stranger that reaches out to us. It might be in the unexpected peace that comes in the midst of great anxiety. It might be in the remembering of moments of hope in the past or hope for the future. God will not let our cry's go unanswered. It might not be today or tomorrow or even next month, but God is faithful and so we continue to cry out to God who is our Rock and our Redeemer.

Psalm 27

"This I believe; I shall see the goodness of Yahweh,
in the land of the living."
Psalm 27:13

I will not wait for God's goodness to be revealed on the other side of this life!
I do not choose to believe that the promise for life and joy is just for the time after this life. God's promises are for here and the here-after and I will search each and every day to find that goodness.
I have seen the goodness of God's creation!
I have experienced the unearned love of family and friends when I could not have expected it.
I've had moments of joy just being in the presence of God as I've looked into the night sky.
I've watched the sun come up in all of it's glory with no one else around and heard God say, "This one's for you!"
This I believe! That God is for me!

Psalm 26

"Yahweh, be my judge!
I go my way in my innocence,
My trust in Yahweh never wavers.
Test me, Yahweh, and probe me,
put me to the trial, loins and heart;
for your love is before my eyes,
and I live my life in loyalty to you."
Psalm 26: 1-3

Lord I live my life for you but I can not say that I want to be tested. I already know that I have come up short in the past. My sins are before me and without your mercy and grace, oh Lord, I would be doomed.
In spite of, or maybe because, I am so far short of the perfection you call for I will hold on to the faith I have in Jesus Christ. I will choose to live a life of loyalty to you Lord no matter how much I am tested. (but please Lord be gentle)

Psalm 25

"Let innocence and integrity be my protection,
since my hope is in you, Yahweh."
Psalm 25:21

When I place myself in the hands of God I do not need to know everything. I don't need to know what the future holds or even who is for me or against me. It isn't necessarily an easy place to be, but it is a place that I need to be.

Lord may I trust you so that I may innocently treat everyone with loving grace. May I assume that everyone is desiring the best parts of the Kingdom for one another and that there is no deceit or malice within their hearts.
Lord may I be innocent in all things that might harm others or lead others astray or subvert your will. Help me to be wise in all things which will bring you glory. May discernment keep me from straying off your path. May your wisdom allow me to see into the motives of others and be an avenue of healing whenever you might be able to use me.