Psalm 32

"You are a hiding place for me,
you guard me when in trouble,
you surround me with songs of deliverance."
Psalm 32:7

There are some things that I've come to understand about life and about myself in the midst of this life. One of those things is that I have done a fairly good job of hiding myself from others and even myself over the years. I've been unwilling, unable, and unaware of the reasons why I am who I am or why I do the things I do. I don't know if I will ever be able to fully know and understand my own actions and motivations but I'm reassured that God knows. The thing is that I'm not alone in this either. There are very few people who I've ever met who are self-aware enough to understand their lives and what drives them.
Over the last six months as I've set aside more time to simply listen to God, life, and my inner self I've been amazed to discover the reasons for some of my predispositions. Seemingly random events have come to mind that when put together begin to show why I have lived my life in certain ways over the years. God has gently invited me to consider past hurts, passing encounters, and life changing events in a new light and invited me to embrace them not as things that have to control me but as events that God wants to use to shape me into the person I'm invited to become. In these times I have found new freedom to live in the present and not be controlled by the past. I'm not where God wants me to be yet but I pray that I'm getting closer.

Lord, in those places that are tender in my life yet may you guard them from others as you and I work them out together. May you continue to reveal to me those moments that have shaped me both to become like Christ as well as those that have shaped me to become more worldly. May I find your song of deliverance sung within me creating me in the ways you desire.