What to do

One of the things that I do is pastoral duties in a church that I'm on the staff of. But the question that roles around in my head often is, "What is a pastor?" That is followed with questions like:
What does a pastor do?
What is a pastor like?
What is it that people expect from their pastor?
In our Staff Parrish meeting last night we began to talk about these things a bit and the obvious answers is that we are not of one mind. This really didn't surprise me as it is a part of the tension that I have been feeling over the last couple of years. The problem with this is that it sets the pastor up for failure and disappointment.
At the leadership roundtable I attended the keynote speaker was talking about how every culture has both an "ideal" and a "reality" expectation of others. The ideal is the way the culture expects people to act in leadership and the reality is that which they know and see on a regular basis. As long as the reality does not vear to far from the ideal, or if the person is known well by the others then the reality of life is accepted. The problem arises when the leader ventures to far away from the ideal and acts just like everyone else.
Example: A pastor is supposed to serve God (what they really mean is serving the church) without regards to money. The pastor is well loved and appreciated and the church is looking forward to a long relationship. But the pastor comes to a point where the salary that is being paid doesn't cover the costs of raising a family. So the pastor goes to the leadership of the church and says, "I need more money to support my family." It won't matter how it is said or how honest the pastor is being. The church leadership will almost certainly be looking for a new pastor in a fairly short period of time. It might never come up as to the reason why, but the pastor has stepped outside of the bounds as to what is expected.
So what are the ideals that surround the pastor in my location? That is what I'm trying to figure out so that we can have at least an honest conversation as to whether those ideals are what we really want to live. I'm sure that it will be an interesting conversation as we go along.
Any suggestions?